Echoes of my heart... Will I ever dance with my Father again?

If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would rather still want to be a kid. The memory of the good times with dad will always be a cherished moment. I had it all growing up. Love, protection and some serious scolding (I think I deserve it). I did recall using a word worse than the f…word on my sister(bastard), dad beat me to stupor, all mum could do was watch her helpless son with tears. Growing up was that fun, believe me.

Sincerely, I could not differentiate between being born and living in Buckingham palace and staying in our 3-bedroom apartment in the suburb of Lagos. My parent made our lifestyle so Buckingham enough that we lacked nothing. Back to school shopping was the grandest, it’s like shopping in Harrods in London, and I relish those precious memories until fade.

As the year went by, I enjoy my dad more and more because of his wealth of wisdom and spiritual advice. Dad’s words are tantamount to the book of PROVERBS,” my son, pay attention to my words, my son, do not forget my law, the words of king Lemuel’s mother.
Oh well, dad’s word stucked until my friends showed up and I was gone with the wind. Then I lost my innocence, but somewhere in my private sanctum where lives my true me, I knew something was missing... or I was missing something.

I knew I had lost touch spiritually; its more of a struggle, life was miserable, lost count the number of times I have given and taken my life back from JESUS. Its hard to dance with my father with those feelings of guilt. How can I sing the Lord’s song  in a strange land? In secret places, the echoes of my heart read thus

“Lord, I have not forgotten you but the thoughts of my failings are just some painful to behold. Nobody knows it but me. Am nothing but a spiritual heartbroken cowboy, always jumping out of his element. But i know You will see me through all this through grace, and am here at the foot of the cross Lord, kneeling at the throne of mercy for You to take me as I am. All my failings should have drown me but Lord; let your light shine in my dark hours, let justice, mercy and grace be my embrace for I have no other God except you. The cry of my heart is to love and live for You.

In all this, and over the years, I have learnt a lot, that my failings should actually draw me closer to God not take away from Him who knew me before I was born. He knows my frailty, shared in my humanity. Now, am still learning,still standing by his grace.It’s a royal dance with my Heavenly Father.


I tot of u, now & always.
Inspired by hope.
12’09